Try this: When a big, looming task (going through your inbox, writing too many thank-you cards, etc.) is overwhelming the heck out of you, try to break it up into smaller to-dos. This can help you build momentum with small wins and make the task less intimidating. You've got this!

Think on this: When was the last time you really showed up for yourself? How can you do more of that in the future?

Remember this: Sometimes the hard stuff is still worth it.

Read this: 35 Daily Reflections for Checking In With Yourself

“I love my dogs. And (not but!) they track in a lot of dirt, grass, and unwanted mystery substances. To keep my floors and bed clean (because, yes, we're big cuddlers), I use these Earth Rated wipes every time I take the pups out. Knowing that they have dirt-free paws helps soothe my anxiety about cleanliness.”

—Sam Brodsky, Staff Writer

When the news has you down, focus on what you can control.

If we could start a support group for anyone following the news lately, trust us, we would. But in lieu of that, we reached out to an expert for one of their best tips for navigating bad news overload. “Consuming negative news often leaves us feeling powerless because, in many cases, we truly aren’t in control,” explains psychologist Cynthia Shaw, PhD. “While this realization might seem unhelpful, it can actually shift our focus toward what is within our control.”

Try it: Once you realize what’s out of your control, like solving the world’s animal welfare issues, it can be easier to identify meaningful ways you can contribute to improving the problem, even if they’re small. In this case, you can volunteer, foster, adopt, raise awareness, and vote for people who share your values. “Recognizing these actionable steps can help counter feelings of helplessness,” says Dr. Shaw.

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By Sam Brodsky

Your friends hung out without you. Your dad judges your job. The traffic? Freaking horrible. These are shitty situations that make you frustrated, angry, or stressed out. (Probably all the above, if you’re being honest.) But, according to author and podcast host Mel Robbins, the Let Them Theory can help you rise above it all. 

The idea is that what’s done is done: Your pals didn’t think to (or want to) invite you, you can’t magically change your dad’s mind, and you cannot bibbidi-bobbidi-boo bumper-to-bumper delays. But you can talk to your friends about your FOMO (or prioritize other connections), focus on all the things you love about your career, and use your travel delays to call someone back. 

Sounds simple enough, though there’s a bit more to it. And that’s the subject of Robbins’ newest self-help book, The Let Them Theory, which she co-wrote with her daughter Sawyer Robbins. If the advice to spend less time worrying about what other people do or think sounds a little familiar, that’s because it is, says Robbins. The concept of giving up control has roots in Buddhism, Stoicism, the Serenity Prayer, and radical acceptance, she notes. 

Here, Robbins explains how this concept works and why it can benefit your career, your relationships, and your inner rage monster at busy checkout lines.

WM: What is the Let Them Theory and how does it work?

Mel Robbins: The Let Them Theory is a simple mindset tool that has two parts. The first part is telling yourself to, Let them, during any moment in life where you feel annoyed, frustrated, stressed out, or worried about a situation or another person. As soon as you say those two words, you are releasing control of what another person thinks, says, does, believes, and feels. 

Any psychologist will tell you that whenever you try to control something that you can't, it just creates more stress and frustration and anxiety for you. For the first 54 years of my life, I didn't know this. I mean, I'm a very smart person, but I had no idea that my attempt to control other people and little things that were happening all around me—long lines or traffic or somebody being rude—drained my energy.

Once you say, Let them, you recognize you can't control what another person thinks, says, or does. Therefore, it is not worth your time and energy to try. Then you say, Let me, reminding yourself of the things that are in your control: what you think about another person or situation, what you do or don’t do in response to another person or situation, and what you do in response to your emotions. 

Every time you say, Let them, it's the ultimate boundary between you and the rest of the world. It is an act of self-love and self-protection. You recognize that your time and energy is worth protecting. Then you say, Let me, and you pull your time and energy back and you get to choose what you do with it. 

Keep reading to learn how you can implement the Let Them Theory into everyday life.

🎧 What we're listening to: Something to boost your mood this weekend.